Still Fighting?

I was suppose to have a pap smear done this morning as a follow up from my conization procedure. Unfortunately, that has to be rescheduled to next week. My doctor, a gynecologic oncologist, is only available on Thursdays at the medical center (which is in the same medical complex as the hospital I had my surgery in).
For those just tuning in to this blog, all of this started back in August 2008 when I started bleeding between menstrual cycles and was experiencing mild to moderate abdominal pain. Without going in to too much detail (I will spare you), my period was developing a "on 3 days"- "off 3 days" type of deal and the pain wasn't constant but did not appear to have a regular pattern. Then in September 2008, I began bleeding and it never stopped. So 5 weeks after that, I went to the doctor (it was difficult to find an English speaking one..hence why I waited) and after a few tests and hormone pills, I was diagnosed with HPV and cervical cancer.
In February of this year, I had a cone biopsy done and was told I was cancer free. Now, I am not so sure. It appears that I am now back to square one. My last menstrual cycle ended on March 29th and 2 days ago, I started bleeding again...just like it was before. So all I can do now, is wait until next Thursday and see what happens. As anyone who read my first few posts knows, I hate the waiting process. I will keep everyone updated on any news and changes, and would like to leave you with this quote:
"I know God would not give me anything that I could not handle....I just wish He did not have so much Faith in me"....Mother Theresa

M.S.A.T.H...Part 7

Wednesday morning i was woken up as usual at 6:00 am sharp by a nurse. good news was, i was allowed to finally eat, so i anticipated the arrival of breakfast, which was due at 7:30 am, cracked open my book and began to read. btw..nothing else to do there without a television or radio.
like clock work, my first meal arrived and to my dismay, it was less than typical hospital food. it consisted of 2 pieces of white bread (not toasted) and a bowl of warm milk. ok, i will repeat just in case you think i mistyped or you misread....a BOWL of warm milk, as in, not a cup. now, rather the milk was for me or the vermin, i am not sure. though someone should inform these people that it is a woman's hospital and not a veterinary clinic. the only time i drink milk from a bowl is after i am done eating cereal, which apparently, they forgot to add. they also forgot butter, jam, jelly, or anything else that may go with bread.
at 8:00 am, the doctor came in with about 6 interns to check on us and remove the gauze from my vagina. of course, without curtains, my entire womanhood was there for all to see, including my roommates.
the rest of the day was long, but i did manage to finish my book, and since one of my roommates was sent home, it was just 2 of us, which made it a little more quiet and peaceful.

The Squid Complex

i was doing some research and reading forums and blogs on LEEP and black vaginal discharge and found there are a lot of women scared when they experience this. for those of you who have not, let me explain a bit.
when you have the LEEP process (a biopsy using a wire circular object), it is highly unpleasant. though the symptoms that follow are equally, if not, more unpleasant. this is what i like to call "The Squid Complex."
a few days after LEEP, many women will get a black as coal, extremely foul, fish smelling discharge. this is normal though i do not know why. it is also accompanied by black "ashes" on the toilet paper upon wiping. one girl explained it beautifully when she said "it looked like someone had flicked their cigarette ashes on my toilet paper". this is all left over from the cauterization doctors perform so you don't bleed after the biopsy.
and though i have not been able to find any website which explains the "why the discharge is normal" i have found many that says it is. that includes the foul smell as well.
as unpleasant as it is, and it is extremely unpleasant. i felt i could not only smell myself but everyone else could also. it was like walking into a fish market every time i pulled my underwear down. i can assure you, that this will in fact go away after a week or so though. the only thing you really need to worry about after a biopsy is if you run a fever...everything else is just part of the process.
for more information on a biopsy, visit my article titled "What Really Happens During a Biopsy"

What Really Happens During a Biopsy

i thought i would shed some light on the truth about cervical biopsies. women reading this may want to bookmark this page to let your men read it later.
i have been to numerous websites before and am so tired of the word "discomfort" when associated with biopsies, mammograms, etc.
we are not allowed to have sex for a month after a biopsy. we cannot lift, run, or even walk fast...doctors orders. so why do they say it is just uncomfortable?
let me explain the procedures of a cervical biopsy to all of you from my own personal experience. i am not trying to scare anyone, but i feel women should be properly informed prior.

i am lying there in the doctors office with my feet in the stirrups (as usual) and she shows me this small, loop of wire at the end of a stick1. seemed harmless enough...WRONG! it consisted of voltage passing through the little wired loop to scrape tissue samples from my cervix, vaginal walls, and cervical canal. as if this was not bad enough...we then have to stop the bleeding from where we took the tissue samples. this is when we go from "discomfort" to painful.
and how do we stop the bleeding? with salve?..no....with a tampon (this would make sense)...no
we burn the wounds shut!...i am laying there and my doctor said that "now we have to stop the bleeding". i thought the worse was over...WRONG again!
next thing i know i have smoke coming out of my vagina. so i am laying there waiting for my doctor to yell "fire in the hole" and grab the extinguisher while i am fighting back tears and i'm wondering exactly how much more should one person go through before this is considered more than just a "discomfort"?
so men, please, if a loved of of yours has to go through this procedure, do not ask her to cook dinner, go grocery shopping, or expect her to wash the dishes. (Note: this does not mean that the dishes should pile up until she is well enough to wash them.) if you cannot grasp the concept of any of this then i will put it in terms you can understand.
turn on the stove...place your penis on the hot burner about 10 times for approximately 1-2 seconds each time. after that, see how much you feel like walking around.

1. LEEP...looks harmless doesn't it?