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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Surviving Cancer

15 years ago, i was diagnosed with cervical cancer. problem was, i was pregnant with my son at the time. the doctors told me to abort the baby and have the cancer removed or neither of us would survive childbirth. i never had it removed and, i am happy to say, my son is now 14 years old. the cancer went into "remission" shortly after he was born and i have never had a problem since...until now.

almost 15 years to the day, i started having problems. my menstrual cycle was all out of whack. i bled for 5 weeks before going to the doctor. she prescribed me hormone pills to stop the bleeding and it worked. but then i went in for a pap test and a week later i called for the results. that's where the nightmare begins.
my doctor said the results were not good and needed to see me right away for a colposcopy. once she added the vinegar solution to my cervix, there was no doubt that a biopsy was necessary right then and there.
i asked her after the appointment what she thought the results would be. she stated "it doesn't look good". i have to call her next monday for the results, but having hope is getting more and more difficult.
i fought 15 years ago...and now i am fighting again. quite frankly, it becomes exhausting having to fight for your life everyday. some days you want to thrown in the towel and give up. other days, you want to scream at the cancer "YOU WILL NOT WIN!". its a never ending roller coaster of emotions and i'm not sure if i am ready for that again.
if anyone is reading this and has a story or thoughts they would like to share, then feel free. it's nice to know we are not alone in our struggle to live.

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