1 Year Anniversary

it's been 1 year since my hospital visit and surgery to rid me of my cervical cancer. i must say "so far, so good!"...knock wood.
i have had some irregular menstrual cycles but then again, being 38 years of age contributes to that as well. for the most part, there isn't any pain like there was before. thank goodness.
i am still residing in croatia for the time being with my boyfriend. and if you read the "hospital menu" link you will understand that i still do not eat a lot of bread...lol
i promise to stay updated with the blog. just took some time off from it for awhile, but now i am back.
keep it cool...keep it collected...keep living :)

Endometriosis

Ok, since it is the day before Easter (which by the way "Happy Easter Everyone"), I will make this short and sweet and follow up with another post on Monday. I have done some research as to what may actually be going on with my "not-so-old" but aging female body and this seemed interesting. Back in August when I started these unusual menstrual cycles and abdominal pain, a doctor friend stated that it may be endometriosis. Though, since he was not a gynocologist, I needed to seek a second opinion and was diagnosed with cervical cancer.
Now, though it is not proven that endometriosis causes cervical cancer, it has been proven to effect the cervix, vagina, ovaries, and other reproductive parts of the female body. I have compiled a list of some facts for you such as symptoms and reproductive health as quoted from wikipedia.
Symptoms:

• pelvic pain-----"Symptoms of endometriosic-related pain may include:

dysmenorrhea – painful, sometimes disabling menstrual cramps; pain may get worse over time (progressive pain), also lower back pains linked to the pelvis
chronic pelvic pain – typically accompanied by lower back pain or abdominal pain
dyspareunia – painful sex
dyschezia – painful bowel movements
dysuria – urinary urgency, frequency, and sometimes painful voiding"

• infertility
• nausea, vomiting, vertigo or diarrhea—particularly just prior to or during the period
• frequent menses flow or short menstrual cycle
• heavy or long menstrual periods
• some women may also suffer mood swings and fatigue

If you or anyone you know has these symptoms...please do not feel shy about bringing up the subject of endometriosis to your doctor.

Still Fighting?

I was suppose to have a pap smear done this morning as a follow up from my conization procedure. Unfortunately, that has to be rescheduled to next week. My doctor, a gynecologic oncologist, is only available on Thursdays at the medical center (which is in the same medical complex as the hospital I had my surgery in).
For those just tuning in to this blog, all of this started back in August 2008 when I started bleeding between menstrual cycles and was experiencing mild to moderate abdominal pain. Without going in to too much detail (I will spare you), my period was developing a "on 3 days"- "off 3 days" type of deal and the pain wasn't constant but did not appear to have a regular pattern. Then in September 2008, I began bleeding and it never stopped. So 5 weeks after that, I went to the doctor (it was difficult to find an English speaking one..hence why I waited) and after a few tests and hormone pills, I was diagnosed with HPV and cervical cancer.
In February of this year, I had a cone biopsy done and was told I was cancer free. Now, I am not so sure. It appears that I am now back to square one. My last menstrual cycle ended on March 29th and 2 days ago, I started bleeding again...just like it was before. So all I can do now, is wait until next Thursday and see what happens. As anyone who read my first few posts knows, I hate the waiting process. I will keep everyone updated on any news and changes, and would like to leave you with this quote:
"I know God would not give me anything that I could not handle....I just wish He did not have so much Faith in me"....Mother Theresa

Depo Provera and Cervical Cancer

The reason I started this campaign with Depo Provera was due to a theory of mine since 1996. After my daughter was born, I received a "new" form of birth control available to the public called...you guessed it...Depo Provera. I was on medical assistance at the time and was 22 years of age (hence the research studies that targeted young, poverty stricken women). That was back in January of 1994, when I received my first injection.
Over the next few months, I had experienced irregular menstruation, nausea, abdominal pain, depression, and headaches. When I went for my second injection at the clinic, I was told by the midwife (no doctors) that those symptoms were common after childbirth, which I will admit, they are. So she gave me my second shot and I was sent home. That was late April 1994.
In June that year, I found myself bleeding non-stop as if my period had started and forgot to end (about 3 weeks straight). One night, I was in so much pain in my stomach region, that I ended up in the emergency room. I was later released and told to see a doctor (guess they meant no midwife) so i scheduled an appointment for a check-up. A month later, I was told that I was pregnant (yep, Depo helped a lot) and that my pap test had came back as abnormal and a biopsy would be needed. I went for the biopsy and it concluded that I did, in fact, have cervical cancer.

My son and I are both fine. We made it through the pregnancy and childbirth great....he was born March 22, 1995.

1 year later, I was working at a local diner talking to a co-worker of mine and found that she too had been diagnosed with cervical cancer and had also taken the Depo Provera shot. She informed me that a few of her friends had the exact same experience. Now I had put it all together back then, but it wasn't until recently when I started research on the internet about it.
I found that most information regarding the research and disadvantages of Depo Provera cannot be found on the Depo official site....which seemed very interesting to me.
Here are a few links for you:

• From Depo Provera.com...click on "important patient information"...this is the link you get
• From Depo Provera.com...click on "new important safety information...i cannot give you this link, because none appears

According to epigee.org, it states this:
"Other side effects include:

• Change in menstruation (may be lighter or heavier; shorter or longer)
• Increase in spotting and breakthrough bleeding
• Weight gain
• Dizziness
• Nervousness
• Change in libido
• Headaches
• Rash or skin discoloration
• Breast tenderness
• Depression
• Increase or decrease in facial and body hair
• Hair loss

Complications
Although they are rare, there are some serious health complications that can occur with the use of Depo-Provera. Users may have a slightly increased risk of breast cancer and cervical cancer, but study results have been conflicting. Other possible complications include jaundice, blood clots, severe allergic reaction and infertility."

To end this post, I will leave you with one thought. If Depo Provera is so safe and effective, why are there so many lawyers that specialize in Depo Provera lawsuits?
Depo Provera attorneys

Series of Tests

as some of you might already know, i have to go through a series of tests before surgery (which is set for February 16). today was filled with blood tests, urine sample, chest x-ray, and an EKG. i can think of better ways to spend my time, but i guess we all have to do what we need to to beat this disease.
after only 2 hours of sleep last night, we (my boyfriend and i) arrived at the clinic around 7:30 this morning. first on the agenda was blood and urine, the latter of which has been postponed due to my menstruation and therefore i cannot produce an accurate urine sample. but never the less, 4 tubes of blood were taken so at least that is over with and my arm resembles that of a heroin addicts.
next stop was chest x-ray. this was actually fast, efficient and painless i must say. but there is something to be said about taking your shirt and bra off, leaning against a cold plate of metal and taking a deep breath. i think its the whole "taking shirt off" bit that i dislike. its not that i feel uncomfortable, but lets face it, more people have seen my breasts and genitals this year than my entire time in high school. keep in mind that it isn't even February yet.
last but not least, was the EKG. now the fact that they call it EKG has me somewhat baffled since its real name is electrocardiogram. wouldn't it be ECG? doesn't matter i guess, i just thought it kind of odd to abbreviate with a letter that doesn't even exist in the word.
but the real baffling part is when they hooked two wires up to my legs. now, unless i missed something in science class, the heart is more towards the chest region, right? anywho, i had 1 wire attached to each leg, 1 on each side of my chest, and 3 underneath my left breast. the entire experience is completely painless and as i laid there on the bed, i had to hold back the urge to just burst out laughing. i'm not sure if it was the lack of sleep or the fact that i felt like keanu reeves in the matrix shortly after he took the red pill (hairy legs and all), but it was the perfect ending to the first series of tests. although next time i think i might take along a camera so as i can get pictures of the idiocracy that i felt at that moment.
tomorrow, we get results from tests, so i will keep everyone posted. i just wanted to share this unforgettable experience and try to shed a little bit of light on what is a dark moment known as cancer.

Man or Martyr?

ok..so we are drawn to that question. is he a man who loves you, would do anything for you?
or is he the one who wants everyone looking at him saying "oh poor" you, i guess, because he wants to feel like the hero when he is not?
this is easy to tell ladies. there are a few rules to take into account:
does he spend his time catering to you?
does he not just ask if you want to go out with him and his friends, but say "i will tell them they have to come here"?
does he say that you should not be reading stuff like this?
does he make your illness into his imaginary, "look at me" illness?

how do we tell these men apart?...simple!
when you feel depressed..does he hug you? hold you? tell you everything will be ok?
does he tell you he should be the ones who is crying because he is the one who ACTUALLY has to go through it?
do you feel like you want to not die, but just not exist anymore? (yes, there is a difference)
do you feel like you should not talk about him because he might find out?

here is a big and the most significant hint.....
if a man or a significant other feels like they are being betrayed as an idiot, a bitch, or an asshole...then they should try a different approach to life and their other.
otherwise, they are an asshole, bitch, or, if i must say, worst scum of the earth and surrounding planets.
if i may say...and i may because it is my blog and mine alone....
no one is here to serve anyone....we are all equal
plain and simple!
any man who says that they are superior ...ask them where their next meal comes from (besides their pocket)
any man who says they can do anything a woman can do...then by all means ..give birth!
they get a papercut and it is an emergency..try an episiotomy!

Surviving Cancer

15 years ago, i was diagnosed with cervical cancer. problem was, i was pregnant with my son at the time. the doctors told me to abort the baby and have the cancer removed or neither of us would survive childbirth. i never had it removed and, i am happy to say, my son is now 14 years old. the cancer went into "remission" shortly after he was born and i have never had a problem since...until now.

almost 15 years to the day, i started having problems. my menstrual cycle was all out of whack. i bled for 5 weeks before going to the doctor. she prescribed me hormone pills to stop the bleeding and it worked. but then i went in for a pap test and a week later i called for the results. that's where the nightmare begins.
my doctor said the results were not good and needed to see me right away for a colposcopy. once she added the vinegar solution to my cervix, there was no doubt that a biopsy was necessary right then and there.
i asked her after the appointment what she thought the results would be. she stated "it doesn't look good". i have to call her next monday for the results, but having hope is getting more and more difficult.
i fought 15 years ago...and now i am fighting again. quite frankly, it becomes exhausting having to fight for your life everyday. some days you want to thrown in the towel and give up. other days, you want to scream at the cancer "YOU WILL NOT WIN!". its a never ending roller coaster of emotions and i'm not sure if i am ready for that again.
if anyone is reading this and has a story or thoughts they would like to share, then feel free. it's nice to know we are not alone in our struggle to live.