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Thursday, March 12, 2009

M.S.A.T.H...Part 5...Enema

i was awoken at 3:30pm and taken a room at the end of the hallway to be shaved. not a pleasant experience, but not as bad as the enema. now i will stray off topic for a minute and try to describe the enema experience.
an enema is basically a douche for your colon. it contains a water solution in a medium sized container with a tube (guess where that goes) and a pump to allow the fluid to enter your anus and get into your colon. in itself, it was not so bad, however...i should remind you that i was taken to a room at the END of the hallway. i was then sent back to my room..may i add, praying the entire time. luckily, i made it just in time. the only way to describe the feeling was that of drinking a gallon of prune juice and holding it in for 4 or 5 hours. my roommate, kristina, went next.
now why they give 2 women in the same room an enema at the same time when there is only 1 toilet is beyond me. maybe there were cameras somewhere i wasn't aware of, and we were some sort of reality tv entertainment for them.
on a brighter side, anyone who needs to lose 5 pounds quickly, an enema is the way to go. i, on the other hand would require about 20 of back to my story.
at 4:30, bela arrived and i took the opportunity to walk around a bit (the enema effects had subsided) and mainly to go to the basement to go outside and have a smoke. (yeah, yeah, yeah..insert your "boo's" here). as i sat there chain smoking 2 cigarettes, bela went to the store to get me a bottle of juice and then we said our goodbyes for the day. i returned to my room and began reading my book again.
2 hours later, my roommates grabbed their robes and headed downstairs. i laid in my bed contemplating for a few minutes and decided to go downstairs as well. if i was to get in trouble, then at least i had them to get into trouble with. when i got to the basement, i found a group of women (about 8-10 of them) sitting inside drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. as smoking is not allowed inside the hospital, they were using an old coffee cup as an ashtray. at that moment, i looked around the room and my brain flashed on the movie "girl interrupted" with winona ryder and angelina jolie. the rest of the night was without disturbance from the nurses.
so then we come to the most interesting day of all....Tuesday

barium enema

to be continued


AlpHa Buttonpusher said...

lol..I didn't even get to the part when you mention "The girl Interrupted movie" but I swear the scene reminded me of it...

JessieSomers said...

it took everything i had not to laugh at the time...but i didn't want to end up in the psychiatric