What we Have Here Is...

I love that phrase! "What we have here is, a failure to communicate"....once again I am quoting a movie. After all, don't we all watch a movie and pick a character that we relate to? Lately I have been depressed.
As you all know, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer and HPV a few months back. I had done everything the doctors said, including surgery and a 1 week stay at the hospital from hell. I have not posted much recently due to being depressed...who wants to hear about others problems when we all have them, right?
Today, was a breath of fresh air, for a change. Bela and I went to the mall to buy a present for his nephews birthday party tomorrow and then went for a few beers afterwards. We talked and discussed a lot of things and some times we debated (a nice way of saying "argued") about ongoings in our life. Mainly our new website that we are trying to piece together. We both got a little tipsy and went minor grocery shopping at the store next to the pub to get bread and meat for sandwiches.
Bela arrived at the check-out counter before me as I was looking for any kind of "gummi" treats on sale. When I met up with him at the cashier, I had thought he paid. So i went and started grabbing the change left on the counter. He looked at me and said something that might as well been "blablabla" actuality was " to nije naše". I realized that he was speaking Croatian and said "what?". But then he repeated what he said. I read the sign language and put the money down on the counter.
As we left, I could not help but finally laugh after a week of depression. He did not realize that either he was speaking Croatian or I did not know Croatian. Either way, it was a failure to communicate but was exactly what the doctor should have ordered.
What is the phrase... "laughter is the best medicine"? I have to agree! I feel better than I have in a long time.
So you may ask yourself, especially those who do not think cervical cancer is health related (sorry, had to mention that again)...what does any of this have to do with the blog about cervical cancer? It has everything to do with it.
The blog is titled "Surviving Cervical Cancer"...and today I learned how to survive.
It is not about doctors, medicine, surgery..it is about communication, friendship, laughter, and everything else that makes our lives better. Survival...that is a strong word used so lightly. It is what we do everyday, in our own way.

Doctors and Algebra

i have to go see another doctor (doctor B) today about my cervical cancer. this is the one who is covered by insurance, but he doesn't speak english, which is why i was going to the private doctor (doctor A) to begin with. Now hopefully doctor B will just write the referral i need to go see yet another doctor (doctor C) on Thursday. doctor C is the oncologist/gynecologist. he'll be the one performing the surgery.

upon all these doctors and doctor visits, the question is posed: how many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb? i have been seeing so many doctors lately, i feel like i'm at a singles mixer for the rich and famous. call me old fashioned but i prefer to be tied down to one doctor and not play the field. to have just one doctor that does everything and not have your medical journal look like an algebra problem.

if A+B=C, then why can't i just go to C? is it just like in school when you can't just write down the answer, but have to show your work? my teachers always said that i would need all of that information i learned sometime in my life. i just never thought it would be that.

maybe life really is an arithmetic problem. death is "the answer", "showing your work" is life itself.

Beginnings

well, it's official. we found out last night that it is in fact cancer. i need to call my doctor after january 7th and we can set up an appointment for surgery. needless to say i have been doing a lot of reading on the internet about hysterectomies, chemotherapy, radiation, etc...
its very scary, but i am trying my best to stay optimistic about all of this. its not the fact that i am fighting cancer for the second time in my life, but the fact that i am fighting. and i will continue to fight for as long as it takes.
this is not the end of my life, but the beginning. my outlook and perspectives are finally taking form. and though i am far from being an olympic athlete, i can and will jump any hurdle this life has to offer. i have the right to free will, the right to free speech and i have the right to live. i have been alive for 37 years, but now is when i finally start living.